Relationship Help

Relationship help is sometimes needed whether you are in a full crisis or just feel things are stagnant.

If you need help you can find a lot of tips and advice out there but what you really need is for both you and your partner to be involved in helping your relationship.

Here are a few things to get you started.

Set Groundrules

Let’s face it, we all get angry, and sometimes the one you love the most is the one you end up taking it out on the most.

Two of my good friends (I inadvertently played matchmaker and they ended up getting married to each other, but that’s another story) attribute the success of their marriage to one simple rule: Never go to bed angry.

No matter what happens, they have promised each other that they will talk through any issue to make sure that neither one of them goes to bed mad.

Understanding each others ground rules is very important as I learned once when I hung up on my boyfriend during an argument.

My then-boyfriend almost broke up with me over it. In my defense, he was exhibiting some very rude behavior of his own (and it was right after my grandmother’s funeral).

Still, hanging up on someone is rude, and if I had known that he believed that it was behavior never to be condoned, I would have been more careful not to let it harm our relationship so much.

My point is that it’s important to establish ground rules, so that no matter what happens you will never hang up on each other, go to bed angry, swear at each other, or whatever it is that you see as non-negotiable.

Establish Objectives Together

Successful organizations and people have objectives, often articulated by type (personal or professional) and to be accomplished on a time line, such as within six months, one year, three years, and five years.

Establishing objectives as a couple serves two purposes: first, it will help you achieve role clarity (who will help the couple achieve what part of the objective); and second, it will drive your behaviors as couple.

So, if your goal is to save a down-payment for a house within a year, each of you will become more conscious of your spending habits. It will also make sure that you are aligned as a couple on the most important things in your life.

If in discussing your objectives you find out, for example, that his five-year plans do not involve moving out of his parent’s basement, this important information will affect other discussions you will want to make with your man about your future and how much relationship help you may need.

Make Sure you have Shared Values

Successful organizations and people also articulate the values that drive them.

As a couple, what are the three to five most important values that you want to keep at the forefront of your relationship?

Are these values love, honesty and trust? Or are they loyalty, open communication, support, and understanding?

For relationship help share what is most important to both of you, and reach agreement on what values are most important to your relationship. Click here for more relationship help


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